Be careful of what you take IN….

This has to do with everything around me. Relationships with friends, family, colleagues, food, situations, experiences, e.t.c. It is not intolerance, it is called LOVING ME!

My mentor in my professional life recently told me: “Do NOT let anyone’s else drama suck the joy out of your days. You do NOT own anyone else’s behaviour but your own! – Belinda S.”

You know what? She is right! I only own my own behaviour! What everyone else decides to do is their prerogative. Yes! They own it, they will be the one to dance to the beats when the drum starts!

When in a leadership role at the workplace, one has to understand the difference between “owning the behaviour” and “managing the behaviour.” When you own another’s behaviour, you get sucked into the drama, you lose focus and it affects everything around you, including your expected productivity. It affects your mood, and it affects how you think. I say to you today in Belinda’s words – Do NOT let anyone’s else drama suck the joy out of your days. You do NOT own anyone else’s behaviour but your own!

Research has found that the influence of negative behaviour on others has a very strong impact, such that, others display this negative behaviour.

The more you are around negative people, the more likely you are to start behaving like them. This is what I do now – I let go of negative energy. I do not necessarily have to stop relating with them, but I choose to keep it to a minimal. Life is too short to be anything but happy!


My son recently asked me why I stopped watching the news! It was quite interesting he noticed that. Well, maybe he noticed because I am not a big T.V fan, and would automatically flip to the news channel on the occasions when I decided to watch the television. I smiled and explained to him that because I feel the news is depressing, and yes, one needs to learn about certain events around one, but sometimes one also has to filter what one takes in. Have you noticed that a major part of the news is negative? Why? Many subconsciously feed on negative news, I guess it goes with the saying: “bad news travel fast!” Honestly, whether I watch the news or not, the news will eventually get to me! Really. So far, I have not missed out on any important events.

The same goes for social media! I know how to filter what I need to see from what I do not want to see or know about. Yes, some people you just have to delete them from your list of social media contacts if they post nothing but negativity. There sure are a lot of them around. No hard feelings. If you are someone like me who can easily get affected by energy, learn how to FILTER! Learn how to LOVE YOU and start it today.

To my darling niece Olamide, thank you for the nudge 🙂

Remain blessed always. -VTI©

About VTI©

Valentina is a self motivated mother who has always committed herself to the service of humanity. In her quest to help in this wise, she has tales of personal experiences. Her challenges and successes which are always ongoing, and she'll be sharing with you without reserve. - Olusegun Idowu


  1. May the Lord help us.

  2. This is very true! Sometimes, we allow the drama that others are expriencing to affect our behavior and even our work as well which of course like you said my sister can affect productivity and also career progression. May God give us the grace to be able to stay above the drama. I hope we also learn not to bring our own personal dramas to work.

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