Breaking Up A Relationship Of Over Two Decades.

Many a times we sit down and think of our relationships – how to make it work, how to make it last, how to enjoy every bit of it, and of course is it right for us? I had to do that recently, and I had to break up my last relationship that lasted well over two decades!

Well, as the years went by, our relationship just was not working for me! I knew it deep within me, and I actually tried breaking up a couple of times but always went back! I was not me! I was not really happy, that even my skin was paying for it. Acne joined the team. If you know me very well, you know I love to be no-one else but me, and I love to be very happy! Life is too short to be anything but happy I always say.

So came one cold morning, I had to make that decision. It was tough! Imagine letting go of what you are used to – moving from a familiar environment to an unknown place. Something new, something strange, but at the back of my mind, I had to do it!

Many close to me thought I was silly! Are you sure you want to do that? I was asked by several loved ones. Think very well about it. Well, I knew I had to do it! It’s been two years I got into this new relationship, and I am happy to tell you all, I did make the best decision. I have peace of mind, I am happy, and my skin even shows it – no more acne. Now I sleep without guilt of cheating in my relationship – I am 150% committed to my new found love – My natural hair!

I just got tired of all the chemicals infused into my body through my scalp. I decided to have a sincere relationship with my hair! A relationship no one else could have with my own hair but me. I decided to break-up with all forms of chemicals and heat. The beginning was the toughest – because of my hair texture (soft and curly), I did not know what to do with it initially, and thank God for some friends and family members who tried to convince me otherwise, I stuck to it! Hahahahaaaa! If you know me very well, I do not conform to others’ standards. I ask myself “how would what I am being told affect me?” My inner response to that question determines the path I will thread.

Making the decision to transition back to my natural hair was a personal decision that I made for my hair! It was not easy, but it is one of the best health decisions I am definitely not going to regret – God help me!

Not only is it healthy, it is very convenient, lots of fun and definitely comes with endless possibilities depending on how creative one wants to be.

I have thought about it over the years and even tried the BC (big chop) initially in 2007, but had to revert back to wigs because one, I did not like the look – made my face long, and secondly, my son as well as my oldest brother were not happy with it and my late dad could not stand a bald headed girl! LOL.

However, ever since I decided to stick to it, I have never been more content. I must confess at a point last year, I told a friend – Busola D. who is also a naturalist that I was going to give up, and put the relaxer back in, and I remember her expression as she uttered the words: “Nooooooo, please don’t!” You would think it was her hair, you would think she had an investment in my hair, but you know what? I appreciate that – and I thank God I listened to her.

It has been a nice journey so far. Stick with us on this page as we bring to you, ideas on how you can have a wonderful relationship with your tresses. – VTI©

About VTI©

Valentina is a self motivated mother who has always committed herself to the service of humanity. In her quest to help in this wise, she has tales of personal experiences. Her challenges and successes which are always ongoing, and she'll be sharing with you without reserve. - Olusegun Idowu


  1. Someone need to read this. (y) nice one sis. Keep up the good work.

  2. That sure was a nice twist. I learnt not what I was expecting. So how easy is it to work the natural hair? Waiting to read about your COMING TO AMERICA hair do experience and grooming advise.

  3. LOL! Nice and captivating. I wonder how many (like myself) rushed to read it just to gbeborun. ….

    You sef! I should have known 🙂

  4. Thanks for all the informations u share. It’s really helping us.
    Keep up the good work. I need to khow more on how to maintain the n hair. I m

    anxious to read ur next block on this subject

    Moji Popoola

  5. Brilliant as usual and…

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