Desperately Single? Think again!

Something came to my mind the past couple of weeks that I want to talk about. It has to do with singles above the age of 30.

I want to ask a question that you may not like. Are you so desperate to get married that you fall for any smooth talking brother that comes your way?

You know in the past 2 months, things have happened that have me made wonder when we became so desperate to get married that we throw all caution to the winds and settle for less than we deserve.
Why do we allow pressure from family members, friends, relatives etc. push us into taking the wrong decision?

Do you forget that your family, friends and all those people will not live in the marriage with you and that you will be the one to bear your cross yourself?

What brought this on is the news I heard about the end of the marriage of a friend. They were only married for about 6 months. When my friend was introduced to this guy, we all told her that he was not right for her as he was not a Christian, he used to talk down to her in public, didn’t have a job and was not as well educated as she was. We asked her if she had talked to her pastor about the relationship but she did not. She fell into the “I am old and I want to have a baby now” syndrome and the pressure is too much so I am ready to do this. We found out later that this guy used to beat her if she did not talk to him “properly”. She brought him from Nigeria to London where she lives. After 6 months of marriage, he filed for divorce and tried to take all that she had worked for in 15 years of living abroad.

courtesy: africanspotlight

courtesy: africanspotlight

Why do we fall for these kind of guys? Why do we let others push us into doing what we should not do? Why do we forget the bible when we decide that we are too old? Why do we not listen to what people around us are saying about our intended? If you so much believe that this guy is the one that God ordained for you, why would you not take him to your pastor?

Sisters and single brothers, we are all too precious in the sight of God to have our hearts toyed with. We should never forget what the word of God says about us being Royal priesthoods, apple of God’s eyes and so many other scriptures that I can quote for you. Don’t forget that we should submit everything to the spirit of God that dwells in you and believe that He is in control and He will never let us down or disappoint us.

One thing you should always remember is that when you are so desperate to marry, you fall into the wrong hands. May that not be our portion in Jesus name, amen.

Please always, look, listen, pray and talk to your spiritual leaders.

Don’t forget that before you enter into a relationship, you should receive confirmation from God. God can send confirmation through other people or even speak to you. Don’t allow others push you to make a mistake.

I know that being single can be lonesome, frustrating and depressing sometimes but always remember that you have friends and family who care about you. Reach out to someone when you feel down, go out, do something different. Don’t be pushed into taking an action you will regret eternally.

When you marry that guy that is not God-chosen for you due to pressures from others, you alone will bear the consequences of it. Ask my friend. None of those people that pushed and nagged her into getting married were there for her when she was being used as a boxing bag. She is trying to rebuild her life now and wishes she had followed the leading of the spirit. Guard your heart jealously.

Do you know anyone who has been in this situation? How did they come out of it? What are you doing not to fall into such a situation?

Look forward to hearing from you.


Vera Makam


About Veramak6

Vera is a Financial Service Professional who is passionate about serving God and living a good, well-adjusted life while believing God for His promise. She blogs to share her perspectives on dating, Christianity, and other issues that single women go through especially in the diaspora. As an African, a lot is expected when you get to a certain age and for those living abroad, she blogs to give a voice to some of "our" experiences as matured singles while encouraging us to be steadfast. She owns the blog:

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