In My Wilderness…..
Let me start by asking how you are all doing. It has been a while I know. Nothing happened, life just got positively busy that to sit and type, actually became a task for me! I know! 🙂
To those that have checked on WHY they haven’t read from me in a while, THANK YOU! It actually is quite humbling to realise many appreciate me bombarding their space with my musings!
Did I tell you? Today, October 21st, 2016 makes TWO YEARS we launched this website www.birogs.com
YES! Two solid years and we are still thriving! Thank you so much for being there, for reading, for those that take their time to leave comments, and for those that love and share.
Thank you to my amazing sister from my cradle, my friend of almost four decades – Jibs for all your hardwork, my frantic calls, senseless emails, WhatApp messages and sleepless nights; only for you to find out the world really is not about to end, but all I need to make is a click! 🙂 I hope the SEO turns green on this one! Haha! 🙂 God bless you all. Amen.
A conversation with someone dear-to-my-heart this morning brought about this article.
Asking about a “friend” whom I haven’t heard from in quite a while…… more than a year I think; and I did not have to make a 360 turn to actually think before answering: “She should be good I am sure! I know she is on my facebook page!” Now, my response made me think more……. I really have NO clue about this person’s welfare. No, we did not fight, we did not quarrel, we just grew apart!
At that point, I had to explain further – well, in my WILDERNESS, she was NO WHERE to be found. I guess she thought she was better off to be found associating with a newly discovered single mother! (I might be wrong, it might be an assumption, but the timing made me assume that). I actually made one or two attempts to find out what and why, but got the cold shrug, and for those that know me, I am passionate in all I do, so, I passionately jejely stepped up!
She actually tried staging a come-back a while back, but at that stage, I had discovered MORE about myself! I had discovered who my WHOS were and were not, and I was content with sticking with my WHOS! She staged a comeback AFTER I had gone through the wilderness and came out stronger and better, and at that point, I did not feel it was in my best interest to accommodate such a person – afterall, why would you want to be part of my laughter when you were not part of my tears? Why would you want to be under the shelter with me when you left me out in the rain? Just wondering…..
You know, in life I have noticed it happens a LOT! Many people do not like to associate with whatever they term “negative” – but I wonder what is the yard stick that is used for that determination. Hmmmmm! Takes me back to words from my late dad a few years ago: “Many people will leave you when you are no more beneficial to them, do not worry, do NOT because of that, stop being beneficial to others, because one day; they will realize it and try coming back, and God will keep blessing you!” One thing daddy did not add was if to “allow such people back into my space”, so, I use my little wisdom to treat each situation as appropriate.
Same thing when someone dies…………EVERYONE all of a sudden become the late person’s BEST FRIEND! Even his/her worst enemy while he/she was alive! Many will come forth with testimonies that makes one wonder if truly the person was a Saint! Seriously! Now, ONE THING such people do NOT realize is that the “deadi-bodi” spoke to some when alive!
This takes me back to a discussion with one of my childhood friends of almost four decades, whom I consider my brother – Kolade; about a “so-called close friend” of ours and of course that of my late husband. I knew Kolade wasn’t sure because he so much believed in this person…..well, Kolade believes in almost everybody! 🙂 Until I got a confirmation recently…..Oh! Kolade, I have to share that with you bro! All of a sudden, stories abound. These wanna-bes knew Adams (R.I.P) more than Adams himself! Only if they know what we know…..!
Well, a note for the likes of those mentioned in the previous paragraph……….. if you are not here for me while I am alive, or your main hobby is to give me grief, please do NOT shed a tear, and claim to be my bestie when I am gone because I will haunt your ass!!! Seriously!
I do NOT like relationships that comes with convenience. I do NOT deal with “loyalty-shifters”. I do NOT hang with jealous folks. You have to add some sort of value to my life, vice-versa, or please take the next cab! It is as simple as that. I always say to people, if I am not adding any value to your life, biko, joor, dispose of me like garbage. It is really not that complicated. If I do same to you, you know why now, however, if I should do such, you will be aware because I will tell you before I even do!
I am thankful to God for not only creating me, but also molding me to be a woman of strength, a woman with an unexplainable tenacity, a hopeful woman with a wild vision and unshakable faith! Yes! That is me! He sure did a good job and took His time creating me 🙂
Yes! My wilderness…… I sure have had not too good moments, and really had a time it seems nothing was working out in my favour. Everything seemed to be falling apart, but God kept me, my parents (both biological and adopted) cheered me on with prayerful words of wisdom, my amazing son was very understanding and gave me timely loving hugs and kisses and assured me “mama, it will be alright” (a tear just dropped); those I consider my siblings (biological and adopted) stuck to me like glue, and to you all (you know yourselves), I say a big THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU MIGHTILY. Amen.
Looking back, I am thankful for days that turned into nights while I was in my wilderness. It showed me how strong I really am. Above all, it was an opportunity to discover myself and those around me! Today, I appreciate the experience. I made mistakes, learnt from them; I fell, and learnt how to get up on a knee at a time, learnt how to crawl and walk again, and gradually learning to run! No, I have not reached my destination yet. I am, work in progress 🙂
I am TRULY BLESSED! – VTI©